I just wish there was so much more than that, about me and you

You talk to him, and it burns me like the sun
You talk to her, and you say that you feel like he's the one
I talk to me, but you can't hear the pain I feel.



School's wack.

Mum came today,
talked.
She went to talk to Jesper about sis,
i went to look for SeowYunying,
Chitty chit chat!
She never fails to be around when i
need someone around in school.
Library -> Prd Squ -> Jinggo & HYG -> Watch Seow play vBall
-> Walk with her till spiral staircase -> Find mum at dance room.

Sessioned at esply with Iz and a Australian.
We wanted to go DXO,
because everyone said the extry was free,
happened to be free but we have to buy the first drink at?
At $9, wasted time walking all the way there.
Ended up at esply to practice again.

Homed.

Recently me and HYG are in love with Gachapons
( A machine where you put coin(s) in and when you turn it,
a capsule drops out with some toy's or so in it ).

Cool uhhh!?
Real Gachapon's somemore!
JAPANESE!!!!!!!!!!
Fetish i think!
But it's real expensive,
two dollars for one capsule.
But it's worth the collect (:


Love has the same concept as
clapping hands,
both parties have to trust and
give each other chances,
most of all love each other truthfully.
If neither party doesn't trust love and give in,
the relationship will never be a great one.

The saddest people are the one's who are in a One-Sided Loveship.

if we weren't that close,

I would never had let you into my heart, if you didn't came with open arms.

If's.

Fuck the school DM,
the sight of him disgust me TTM!

Fuck my hands,
fucking blisters make it so hard to do footwork.

Fuck my male Formteacher,
made of total shit, fuck off.

Fuck studies,
can't seem to study without your moral support.

FML.

Break in school today, for like an hour or so?
School suck big time,
no proper space to practice in.

Had a short chat with SeowYunying about life.
It's seldom you see us talk so... face to face uh.
Thanks anyway.

Sessioned at Esply,
sorta chilling today.
But it's all fine....

It seems like the puzzle is almost done,
I'm able to see where my life's heading towards.

Need to start studying hard like i promised.
After you left,
my bros and Bboying became my only priority.
It will always stay this way.
My first priority will always stay empty for your return.

mixtape,

"What you see isn't what you're seeing."
Credits - Someone special.

Oh, don't turn around and say bye again,
yeah it crushes my head when you call me
your friend and I'm not the same person
From back in the day in the back of the class
that you thought was gay.
No I can't find the words cause I lost them
the minute they fell out of my mouth.
And it's love and I'm in it, so give me your lips
and just let me kiss 'em,
and let's get messed up.


Skipped school.
Reason?

I woke up in the middle of the night,
checked twitter,
read something unpleasant,
that seriously killed it.
It may seem like entertainment to you,
but it's heart wrenching for me.

Didn't had the mood to do shit,
even messed my hair up,
now I'm with a "Gangster" hair,
fuck the hairdresser.
I'm already being fucked by everyone,
and now this bullshit.

Session tomorrow in school,
evening hopefully having a session too.

Thanks Wanyi.

I never want to see you unhappy, I thought you'd want the same for me.

I cannot go to the ocean,
I cannot drive the streets at night,
I cannot wake up in the morning,
without you on my mind.
So you're gone and I'm haunted,
and I bet you are just fine.
Did I make it that easy,
to walk right in and out of my life?

I'm not feeling well.
Sigh.
I'm aging real fast since.


Am i really such a big burden to you all?
I'm sorry for being so,
please don't change how you treat others,
i wont bother you all again.
She's your classmate,
talk to her please.
Please don't treat her differently because of me.

I don't come online just to talk to my bestfriend(s),
you can say i hardly even come online nowadays.
I promised you before to sleep early,
I'll set my weekday timing to sleep before 1am,
I promise.

You too please sleep early.
Love you dearly.

after going though so much,

In truth, you are too intellectual and cold.
A calculator with a charming smile is the description that fits you best.

Every time i have a heart to heart talk with them,
i either get scoldings or lectures.

Bro's you guys don't really understand how i feel,
in my whole 15 years on this planet,
i only truly loved two people.
For a person like me,
i don't just woo a girl if i like them,
if it's an infatuation we are never gonna happen.
From the beginning relationships was never a joke to me.
It isn't as easy to give her up like any other,
for me to give her up is definitely not a want.

You are nothing but beautiful.

"No matter who that girl is,
as long as you truly love her,
she'll always be the prettiest in your eyes. "
- Wanyi

never ever judge a book by it's cover

I forgive you Wanyi jiejie.

Where are most people when you need them?
They're either busy or not giving a shit about you.
Studies are important i agree,
by not sparing me a few minutes simply tarnish our relationship as friends.

Not feeling well this few days,
appetite loss,
no strength to do stuffs,
slight fever yesterday.
I'ma weakling.

I don't have the energy to talk about you today.
Just those three words will explain it all.

to gain something, you have to lose something

I don't know you,
i seriously don't know you well.
I still don't believe that 11th April actually happened.
Not in a good mood,
not feeling well.

MMZY thanks for everything since....
you know...
You have been around for me uh,
even though you are stuck in the middle,
i truly don't blame you for stuffs you can't do.
At least you were there,
unlike some people who proclaimed to be a good friend.

Jinggo, i love you v`v much babe.
Thank you too.


Since then,
times have changed,
or you could say i have changed.
Really sorry to people i have pissed off,
but i just don't like talking nowadays,
or interacting with anyone.
Just let me be and stop intruding into my personal life,
you can say all you want,
just stop messing around.


To gain something, you have to lose something.
I lost you, I regretted real badly and changed myself for you,
when i couldn't carry on, you ran off with your friends.
You threw me aside and left me to suffer.
I picked myself up,
I realized you did it for my own good,
I know your good intentions for me.
But you will never never ever change what is right in front of you.
My Love is as strong and powerful as the love Romeo had for Juliette.

Although we aren't of any relation now,
knowing you was the best time of my life,
talking to you over the phone every night,
sharing with you my unhappiness and sorrows.
You were always there to listen and guide me,
you changed me, to who i am now.
You were my eyes, my mind and my soul.

Till this day i still regretted what i did.
You may never give me a chance repent,
i understand, and i will respect your decision wholeheartedly.
I will still wait for my second chance to prove.
You will read this,
you may not feel a single thing.
I'm writing because i don't have the guts to face you.

I'm still living for you LinHuiting.

Jizz on your face,

Down with slight fever,
feeling very moody today.
Didn't had a good day since 17th June,
Life's fucked for me.

I'm being ignored by anyone and everyone.

I can't stop and i won't stop loving you.

The sight of you makes me puke,
i wanna punch you in the fucking face,
what's wrong with your face?
Doing it on purpose to get me jealous and shit?
Comon' how old are you? Fifteen?
Grow up kid,
making me pissed doesn't gain you anything,
want to make me break down?
Fuck her hard.
Yeah, do it,
you heard me,
so go on and run along like some pussy,
ya boot licker.
You aint a gangstar, so stop trying,
or wanting to be one.
Even MdmYau said that to you last year.
You sure are a big failure in life,
spoilt rich brat.
Try getting some jizz out first,
before you wanna jizz on someone's face.
Mixing and acting like some "cool" gangstar shit in school,
gets you into the hall of mother fuckers,
being a gangster isn't the shit,
wanna know some real shit?
You don't know real shit,
shallow people like you don't really go out,
or even experienced stuffs niggers do.

Enough of wasting 10 mins of my life writing about you.


Hear me rise,
I'm coming.

L,LHT.

prayed harder than anyone,

I prayed real hard during the eclipse today.


I've a appointment at TTSH tmr,
for x-rays and some shits.
They actually sent a latter to my home,
real gay of them...
Guess i'll be leaving school early tomorrow :(
Sorry Jinggo, not tomorrow( 23rd Today )

My next appointment at TTSH with the bone specialist is on,
5th August!
Sucks to be me.

Wont write much because i'm pissed with myself,
for being a loser and coward.

I promise to study hard,
and make it big in society,
I'll make you proud baby.
You're always going to be that special someone, Love.

I'm not gonna hide anymore,
It's been 2 months and still no word.
I don't deserve you?

I love you LinHuiting.
Truly and faithfully.

Eleven Months.

The months are still going,
soon it's gonna be years.

If i didn't love you,
i would have given up eleven months ago.
A month more and it would be a year,
tell me what do i have to do for you to believe in me?
So that i can prove to you all that you never believed in.



There will be a solar eclipse tomorrow morning,
Indian Astrologist says it's a bad omen,
but at the same time the best time to pray,
because -

"During the period of the eclipse, the opposite attracting forces are very, very powerful. From a spiritual point of view, this is a wonderful time to do any type of worship.

"It will bring about good results, much more than on an ordinary day."


I'm gonna pray real hard tomorrow morning.


Practice is the only thing that is able to take my mind off you.
Now do you understand how much you mean to me?
I'll pray that things will get better as time goes by.
Love you babe.

useless

I don't wish to see you,
i don't wish to see you with him.
I dread going for recess everyday,
because i will definitely see him with you.

It feels so painful,
imagine someone you love so deeply,
flirting with another person,
but he/she just ignores and pretend
you're not a bit less of a friend to him/her?

Jizz on him, i hate him.
You didn't know,
when i always see him or any of your friends,
i force to fake a smile,
just to make sure they don't talk about me to you.

You were once my reason to study,
my inspiration,
now you just hit me like a sin.
I want to study,
i want to do well,
i want you to be around to guide me,
like you did before.


I'm falling ill,
i have been pushing myself too much i guess.
Because this is the only thing i can do to keep my mind off you,
mind you i have feelings like "him".
Do you really have to treat me so differently?

Am i really that useless to an extend
which i can not control my own emotions?
Or is it a fact,
that I'm a big fat loser?
I used to believe in Love,
untill you came around and destroyed my cloud of Love.

fml.

Treasure what you have.


Today went out for dinner with Aunt Selina and family.
Catch up a lot today,
on our lives and relatives.

Had a good chat with Jieqi this afternoon,
she agrees with what MdmYau said.
And this are her words to me,
"Make her regret next time that once,
there's this guy that loves her deeply but she didn't treasure."

You thought me to learn from my mistakes,
i made a huge mistake once of letting you go,
so i wont let history repeat's itself.

demoralised

Desperate for changing
Starving for truth
I'm closer to where I started,
I'm chasing after you.

Stop looking at someone from just one simple angle.
Try to understand what I'm trying to say,
and you'll get to see the world in whole from there,
by then you'll be able to see everything on a good basis.

What does a good guy mean to you?

A rich spoilt kid who has all kind of stuff people wants but carry himself as a "Gangster" wannabe?
Who goes out with people whom have bad reputations. E.g smoking.
People who have no brains to think for themselves,
and can't differentiate what's right from wrong.

Or...

Someone who's humble in someway or another,
a person who keep's a low profile, just being who he is.
Not a rich kid and have all kinds of friends but only close to a few.
Learns and understands from his mistakes,
he does not like studying,
and blow his top sometimes,
but is able to differentiate right from wrong.
Though he used to have a bad reputation,
He changed over time due to someone special.

Tell me baby.
Or maybe just tell me who do you wanna befriend.

A Loyal and Faithful friend,
but does not have much money to treat or buy you things.
Or someone who is the opposite,
and hang out with "Gangsters".

*Am not pointing fingers or calling names.
So to people who think I'm talking about you,
prove it... with Evidence.*


My Virtue was always to End what i Started.
And never did it changed.

"whisper three words and I'll come runnin' "

Half blood prince at 1140PM,
ended at 2am,
Emma Watson's such a hottie.
The whole show i was just focused on her and only her! *faints*

During my free time,
i actually wrote a song...
a song about you.
Our short love story that never ended.

Can you believe how short love last's ?

that feeling,

Late in the middle of the night,
woken up by the cold shivering wind,
nightmares surround my room.
It was you,
you were the cause.

Once a wise person told me,
Faith is the miracle people speak of.

Ever wondered how special and important you are in my life?
How much you have affected and changed me?
That's something that cannot be compared,
with money and everything else on this planet.

I love you.

you are not alone,

You are not alone,
i am here with you.
-


Everyday when i take the MRT back home, when it passes your house,
it reminds me of the days i sent you home.
I wish time could stop right there,
just frozen for a day will be all good.


I'm a big loser,
i wish i wasn't such a coward.
I know if i want you,
i should fight for you.

I'm scared of the consequences,
I'm afraid to repeat the same mistakes again.
Well, after all you became "Best"friends with him,
I was gone.
I admit,
I'm better than him in every way,
but he has smth i don't.

Hey, you lent him smth,
when i was .... i even begged you.
Who could have stood by you even after what you did?
Me, i still stood by you all along,
till you cast me aside.

I don't wanna know anymore people,
i don't wanna end up like losers in my class.
I just want to live loving one person,
be loyal and faithful to you,
even if anything happens.

You stole my heart when it was on the edge,
you revived it and now you're throwing it back on the edge.
A simple life for me will do,
as long as you're happy.

The blame's on me,

I deserve it,
for being a coward.
No one's to be blamed but me myself.

Edit edit/


A loser like me doesn't deserve someone so special like you.
-------------------------------------------------------------

I don't deserve you,
but I can't let you go,
I know, I'm the one who said goodbye.

I look back now
and I wonder,
how I could have been so dumb,
how could I have let you go?

I don't deserve you,
but I need to hear from you,
I went insane just not hearing from you.

I don't deserve you,
I wish I could say it to you,
that i honestly love you.

I don't deserve you.
I did too many stupid things.
I promise that if I ever have a second chance
I'd do it all better,
better than you'll expect.

I need to hear from you,
I need to feel you.
as though I did something right
in my history of wrongs.

I don't even know
if you still feel the same.
But I know that you deserve to know,
that I truly do.

I can't say goodbye to you again,
I miss you being here,
where I could depend on you.

I'm ever so sorry
for the stupid things I did
and I don't deserve you.

that's so awkward,

I sat on the same bus as Q today!
Haha, but it make's no difference.

No Emolimo talk today!
Although i'm feeling down.

You're getting more cuter and beautiful day by day,
guess there isn't anyone who see's you the way i do.
People love judging one another by looks,
one word to describe them, Shallow.

I find it awkward to talk to you,
you know what kind of a person I'm like.
I remembered our promise.
If you still do...

together like forever,

The days 11th to 30th are still ticking in my head,
it's like it will never stop.

Even with you gone,
my hearts screams your name.
You reign over me,
like none that did before.

Perfect can be explained by one word from me,
"You"



I feel so inferior,
Compared to him I must seem like nothing.
In your heart he wears a crown, your king
Here I stand, just a prince of my own pain
Why is he king when my feelings prove superior?
My life, my love, my heart, my thoughts
You consume them, and tightly to you I cling
I ask for this, logic disdain.
It means nothing what happens to me
My own life concerns me naught
You're my love, my world, my life, the only one I will ever see.

Always think twice,

You know how I'm like,
it's like how i know you're like.
We both are the same,
we have the same character.
This is something you can't deny,
hope you understand.
It isn't a crime loving you,
but you are not talking to me on purpose.
What do you gain from that?
Just because you want me to give up?
That simply wont work my dear,
it just makes my love for you stronger.

Every time you're online,
and every time i see your name on my contact list,
I have the urge to SMS or talk to you,
but I'm too afraid of the consequences,
you said think twice before making a move,
and think of the consequences of my actions.
I don't want you to be unhappy,
irritated or anything else,
When you're fine with me coming back into your life,
talk to me please.
I will be waiting,
no more than ordinary friends will do...
Just talk to me when it's time alright?

Arghhhhhh! I forgot what date is my appointment with TTSH! :(
Shitshitshit, i'm in dip dip trouble!

Esply with Fam later on,
Cya niggggz.

My brother's playing NFS Black Edition on the comp,
so fucking noisy.
Lol,
and i'm playing Super Mario on my Gameboy.

Where's the fucking PS3 when i need it the most?

I'm like a no life son of a bitch,
who goes home after school,
bathe, change, get ready and leave for practice,
practice till late, go home, bathe, have some rest,
use a little bit of the comp and sleep.
Not much of communication to the outside world or my friends.
How cool is that for a life? :)
Guess god made me this way,
Anti-Social with little friends.
I don't get why am i such a loyal friend,
but none of them are there for me except for my Fam.

Bitch you losers out there.

Good "O'll" days.

Went to play ball with my niggz from MFSS!
It's been a long time brothers!
Kc,Xh,Ahhao,Aldi,Edger,Zaid,o1 & Xiaodi.
Along with Jovan and Jianshen( Sit there do nothing only )

I'll think I'll get back to balling with you guys,
maybe it'll help me get my mind off stuffs.
And smoke some dogs in my school. ROFL.

Dota-ed with Jovan at my house before ballin,
ate at Mac, due to some loser who didn't want to eat ChickenRice.

Esply with my fam, just got home not less than half an hour ago.
Veryveryvery Tiredtiredtiredtired!
Blueblack everywhere,
injuries everywhere.
No pain no gain!

Dont get so agitated over a "bitch" like her,
you already called her a bitch,
so dont bring yourself to the same level as her,
by talking about her (:
Alright?

Friend,

Can we at least be friends?
I just want to hear your sweet voice once again,
and someone to talk to.
Please, if you ever read this.
I'm waiting for your reply.

Just normal friends will do,
not best, not close, just friends.

I have plenty of friends,
I'm willing to give them all up,
to be your friend.
Even my best's.

If you hear me,
please talk to me again.

Eamon -
I don't want you back

Whoa oh oh
Ooh hooh
No No No


See, I dont know why I liked you so much
I gave you all, of my trust
I told you, I loved you, now thats all down the drain
Ya put me through pain, I wanna let u know how I feel


Fuck what I said it dont mean shit now
Fuck the presents might as well throw em out
Fuck all those kisses, they didn't mean jack
Fuck you, you hoe, I dont want you back

Fuck what I said it dont mean shit now
Fuck the presents might as well throw em out
Fuck all those kisses they didn't mean jack
Fuck you, you hoe, I dont want you back


You thought, you could
Keep this shit from me, yeah
Ya burnt bitch, I heard the story
Ya played me, ya even gave him head
Now ya askin for me back
Ya just another act, look elsewhere
Cuz ya done with me

Fuck what I said it dont mean shit now
Fuck the presents might as well throw em out
Fuck all those kisses they didn't mean jack
Fuck you, you hoe, I dont want you back

Fuck what I said it dont mean shit now
Fuck the presents might as well throw em out
Fuck all those kisses they didn't mean jack
Fuck you, you hoe, I dont want you back

Oh oh
Uh huh yeah
Oh oh
Uh huh yeah
Oh oh
Uh huh yeah
Oh oh
Uh huh yeah

Ya questioned, did I care
You could ask anyone, I even said
Ya were my great one
Now its, over, but I do admit I'm sad.
It hurts real bad, I cant sweat that, cuz I loved a hoe

Fuck what I said it dont mean shit now
Fuck the presents might as well throw em out
Fuck all those kisses they didn't mean jack
Fuck you, you hoe, I dont want you back

Oh oh
Uh huh yeah
Oh oh
Uh huh yeah
Oh oh
Uh huh yeah
Oh oh
Uh huh yeah

Even Kitty's have time's when their down.

You know nothing.
Some days that i felt so tired to even speak a word,
i just want to crawl under my blanket to have a good rest,
i really wonder if you were playing with me.

I love someone who i barely know,
someone who i don't talk too.
A person whom doesn't want to talk to me,
or even befriend me.

Something's wrong,

My Class tee's missing,
my Stussy tee's missing too,
and now my necklace's missing.

Something's not right.

I love you baby.
I don't want anything from you,
simply let me love you.

Life's weird,

Did not post last night because
i was too into talking to Christine about Q!

CP yesterday,
alot alot alot of hothothot girls!
But cannot lur,
must have a pure mind.
HAHA!

School had E-learning but i fucked it.
:P
Esply with Adriel since 3PM!
He left at 6 & i stayed on till 830.
Hardcoreeee @_@

Swimming/Jogging tomorrow i guess.
Had been practicing for the past 1 week w/o fail.
Time to rest for a day :D


My phone's filled with you,
my most visited site is yours,
i'm going crazy soon babe.

Family,

Bakau today!
That's my home nigga!
Talked alot, chilled and had fun.
Ate LongJohn again,
walked all the way too Rivervale Plaza to get em,
woooooooooooo!

Tomorrow,
Swimming or Breaking?
You guys decide!
Beep me!
Love you all man!

Just remembered that he saw some
Maxim Super Models at TGX Yesterday! *Nose bleeds*

Hothothothothothot~

Long Forgotten,

TGX & WCG 09.
At Suntec Convention Hall.

Esply after that.
Breaked till 1030 and went back with Andrea.

Had a conference with Iz, Ricky , Shermboy and Kel.
Damn hilarious,
I love you guys<3

Take a step,
it's not just to strengthen our relationship,
but to also make things clear,
so that there will be no misunderstandings.

It's not gonna happen,
I'm just not able too.
I have a promised that i will never break.
I'm truly sorry.

INJURED,

Nice!
Shoulder was injured,
and now my leg!
I cannot even walk properly!
DAMN.

Q, i wanna see you again.
God please stop playing games with me,
I've been fooled twice already,
not another time please.

School.
To go or not to go?

My Brothers.

Thanks bros,
thanks for chilling with me.
You two talked to me when i was down,
joked with me when i was depressed.
I really realized who i can really trust.

Sick today.
Left school at 930am for clinic.
Reached home around 1030am,
slept till 2pm.

Left for Erin's house to play Games!
at around 3+ ?

Met Wan & Zul at KFC,
Bakau after that.